Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Missing

I really, really miss my cat, Boochie. I had to put him down on October 27, 2008, just 1 day after the BNC's beloved grandmother passed away. What a crappy week that was. I have 3 cats at home now. Bitty Girl was acquired late last year and Lily lives with my parents. Lily, Apolo and Logan's mother went to the neighbors years ago after we left our first home. I know, a lot of cats. But, out of all of them, Boochie had a special place in my heart. He was incredibly smart and loving. He was also the only one allowed to sleep with me. He slept near my feet unlike Logan and Apolo who steal my breath and sleep on my head. Boochie also learned, on his own, to nudge me in the back to signal that he needed/wanted out. He usually wanted back in and he would make that scratching sound at the door a few minutes after I left him out. He was a great companion especially considering that the BNC comes home late which leaves me alone at night a lot.

Slowly he developed numerous UTIs and then liver disease and jaundice. Putting him down was the worst decision (but one of the best) I have ever made yet I was determined to not let my boy die alone. I held him as they made him sleep and it was then that I cried so hard that, to this day, I have no idea how I slept that night. The life of a pet owner is hard and while I still shudder at what I had to do, I know he's ok and no longer dying a painful death before my eyes. Apolo and Logan really missed him. They would go room to room searching for him and crying out at the same time. Since he loved being outside, we buried him in the yard yet, when we recently moved, Boochie was our first thought. We didn't want him staying at a home where his momma no longer would be staying at. So, our good friend Jorge, dug him up and put him in a box. We then took him to the vet and had him cremated. Now he sits on my desk in the box the company who cremated him so lovingly arranged for me. I am still searching for the perfect little urn/box to hold him in. I was surprised that his ashes amount to the size of a small quail egg. All that love is now a tiny pile of ashes and it pains me to see it everyday yet I laugh from all the teeth marks Bitty Girl has left as she likes to chew things. Boochie is the only pet I have ever euthanized and, it is through that experience that has prepared me should anyone else need it.

Sigh, the challenges of being a pet owner is learning when to say good bye.


2 comments:

Ali said...

Man. Boochie sounds like he was a really great cat. Smart, laid-back, almost human-like in his ability to love and simply hang out with Mama.

I grew up with our family dachsund, Baxter, but everyone knew he was a Daddy's Boy. He and my Dad had a bond that I never knew could exist between a grown man with 4 daughters and a small, 9 lb dog. When he was 15, Baxter took a tumble down the stairs and, though he survived, things went downhill from there. My mom took a picture of my Dad holding Baxter on the morning they took him to get put down. Baxter looked so peaceful in my Dad's arms, with the sun on his soft, brown face and my Dad is wearing the same expression. Oi. I'm tearing up as I type this.

Now that I'm a mom to my own cats, I wonder how I'll be able to cope when one of them passes. It's hard to explain this to people who don't understand the whole pet/owner connection. It's not something I want to think about but it's good to familiarize myself with it.

Thanks for sharing, Margie. Rest in peace, Boochie.

P.S. And he loved Pound Puppies? Yep. Definitely a great cat.

Margie said...

Thanks, Ali. Baxter sounds amazing. I don't know if I could ever see that photo though. It's the reason I chose not to photograph Boochie in those final weeks. Since Boochie's passing, the BNC and I have talked extensively about how to deal with the passing of our other cats. We've chosen cremation and while Logan will go with him and Apolo with me, once we die, we plan on putting a little of each other's ashes in their own urns. They love each other a lot. I'm almost certain that if one dies, the other will quickly follow from a broken heart. No one wants to think about it but honestly, have a plan on what you are willing to do and not do. I would have paid the $2,000+ to treat him but they couldn't guarantee me Boochie would be fine. I just couldn't make him go through that.

On a lighter note, you make me happy that you can recognize a Pound Puppy. That is Buster and he is 23 years old. I've slept with him since I was 10 which is when I got him.