Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Rounding Third

Tomorrow evening, July 26th, we are scheduled to check into our hospital and be induced.  I'm anxious to meet my son already; to make sure that he is okay.  It's only then will I finally relax and take that long awaited deep breath of relief.  

In a way, I am very happy to know when and how everything will happen.  No Hollywood movie scene here though a part of me was hoping for an August baby.  Then again, the only reason for that was to make sure he would be full term.  My prayer was half answered; he will be full term but just not in August.  I'm okay with that.  We are as ready as we will be.  A few minor things to do and we are set to go.

And, before I forget, I want to express my deepest gratitude to my BNC.  He has been a rock throughout this whole pregnancy.  He went to just about every appointment and tried his hardest to make me comfortable and happy especially during these last few weeks when things became more and more difficult.  I tried to include him in every decision because, after all, this is his son as well.  I wouldn't have made it without his support.  He pushed me and encouraged me when I thought I couldn't continue.  I have no doubt in my mind that he will be a remarkable father to our son because he has been a remarkable husband to me.  /sappiness

It has been a long and difficult journey but I'm confident that all the sacrifice and hard work will be worth it and I, for one, cannot wait to meet the end result.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Solemn Days

So, high risk dictates your due date.  We will not make it to 40 weeks.  Instead, we will be induced sometime after 38 weeks which is about 2 weeks away.  At first, it caused much anxiety because we are still missing a few key items for his arrival but then excitement settled in.  We'll be meeting our son sooner than later and that make me and my body very happy.  My body is aching.  The Kid's squirms, kicks and stretches are painful.  It's not a bad thing.  After all, it's what he's supposed to be doing but oy, it hurts.  Excitement is building.

And then you have days like today where you think about the people who won't be here to greet The Kid's arrival.  People who would have beamed with pride and shed tears of happiness with you.  People that, when they held your son, would make your heart burst into a million little pieces.  People like my Grandpa.  It's makes me incredibly sad that he won't be here.  He won't be able to hold my son, his great-grandson, and beam with pride.  He won't be able to tell me how proud he is of me.  He won't be here to plant a kiss on my cheek.  Most of all, he won't be able to make me smile when I see him holding my son.

Perhaps its the rain that makes me think about all of this but, then again, I always think about that Old Man and how much it hurts to know he's not here.  The void he left me with has been there for 14 years and it still stings thinking about the day he left that void.