Genetics

Lately I've begun to think about what The Kid may have inherited from me.  I'm not talking about that dimple he seems to have gotten from me or the gorgeous brown, wavy hair he has, which could have come from either one of us.  I'm more concerned about illnesses.  He's already has diabetes to worry about since I was, after all, diabetic and pregnant with him.  But, I'm more concerned about his mental health.  I've battled depression throughout my life and, after many therapy sessions, felt well enough to stop going.  Then, post partum depression hit and I had to resort to medication because no amount of therapy would have helped with what I was going through.  Recently, I've had a few setbacks that need to be addressed so I will have to make an appointment with my therapist soon.  I'm a huge advocate for mental health because I know having everything doesn't mean happiness.  Depression is awful and it's awful for those around you.  It's perfectly described in those commercials for anti-depressants.  It really does hurt all over.  Struggling to come up with a reason to get out of bed is hard if you, a non-depressive person, can understand.  Even if the only reason you have to get out of bed is to quiet a hungry cat then there is your reason.  There should be no shame in needing therapy and/or anti-depressants.  And all of this makes me think about Noah and what he may have inherited from me in this particular area.  I plan on being honest and open about my history in hopes that should he ever need help, that he can talk to me.  Isn't that every parent's wish?  To have their child feel comfortable enough to talk to them about any problems or issues they have?  I hope and pray that my son can and will.

How Do You Raise a Boy?

How do you raise a boy?

I've struggled with this question since we found out we were having one so many months ago.  How do you raise one?  One that is respectful, kind, generous and loving?  Hmmm...I guess that is how you raise a girl as well.  No difference except for when puberty hits and you have to help them navigate the scary, confusing overload of emotions.

One of my ideas all along was to not push Noah into loving what I love.  I've seen so many parents push their children to love what they love and I refuse to do that to my son.  I would be ecstatic if  my son loves Spider-man as much as I do but, if he doesn't, I'll survive.  I just want to see that smile of his doing exactly what he wants to do.  Also, I didn't want to push him into being a man like John Wayne.  It's hard to be a man just as it's hard to be a woman.  It gets harder when you become a father and/or mother.  The pressure is tremendous.  I want him to be strong and thoughtful and kind and generous and respectful.

This what I want from Noah, and I hope to get to get it.

To Noah, my son...

Love Yourself

I want you to be happy with the person you choose to become and love yourself for it.

Be an optimist 

You will be happier when you look at life as in a positive light rather than a negative one.

Be a survivor and not a victim

God forbid you suffer something horrifying, don't wear it as something  to use to solicit pity or as a crutch or a hindrance preventing your life from moving forward.  The saying is true;  Shit really does happen.  It happens to a lot of people each and every day.  Some overcome them and others don't.  Try your hardest to not let it defeat you.  Don't let it define you.

Ask and/or seek help

Don't be afraid to ask for it as well as looking for help.  This goes with the aforementioned bullet point.  There is no shame in seeking professional help.  I sought professional help and I'm not ashamed to admit that.  I'm glad I did because I feel so much better about myself.

Become a Drummer

March to the beat of your own drum.  It's hard to actually do in this day and age when, sometimes, all you want to do is belong.  It's human nature to want to fit in and while it's normal, I hope you stays true to yourself and do what makes you happy.

Gender Roles

The gender roles have changed.  No longer are women "required" to stay home, raise the kids, make the yums and cater to men.  The same can be said about men.  They are not "required" to change the flat, smell like Old Spice and eat nothing but meat.  Don't ever think it is beneath you to do a load of laundry, make a meal or change a diaper.  In fact, it makes you a pretty remarkable person if you can do things and not be concerned about it being a "woman's job" or a "man's job".

XOXOXO,
Mom

It's quite the conundrum.  How do you raise a son in this world?  It's hard work being a parent when he's 5 months old so imagine trying to parent a boy who is 15?  But, I guess, in the end, we will cross that bridge when we get there.

I really hope and pray he is happy.  In the end, this is what I want.  I want my son to be happy.  If he is happy, then I will take it as a success story.

Hello 5 Month Old

My son has been doing marvelously.  He's 5 months old now and, at the risk of being hated and envied, he is one easy and happy baby.  I have no idea what I did in my life to be rewarded with such a marvelous child but I'll be sure to do it again next time.  I just hope I can remember everything.

Seriously.  I've stopped asking and started accepting that yes, I got this awesome kid who thinks I'm the funniest person alive.  I put on one of his little hats and sing, "Fat Guy in a Little Coat" from Tommy Boy and I get the loudest, breath stealing giggles from my now favorite person.

Noah, you are awesome.  I love you.  If you're reading this and it's well past 2013, just remember that I always have and always will.